Yellow lanterns – Carole Ranaivo

a guy asks me if I’m okay
I take a drink I must still be too pale
because he can see the wall and the barman through me
the guy is talking to himself he seems ready to sacrifice everything
so that we can talk and remember him one day
but I’m watching the movement of his hands
the folds of his face the contour of his mouth
the lines seem to describe no reliable path
and in the sad and dirty bar where I am not really there anymore
God takes the opportunity to ask me a riddle
he’s laughing he’s unfiltered and the riddle is unsolvable
I give up I don’t feel like playing tonight
and anyway he rambles in an unknown language
that no one knows how to understand or subtitle anymore
I disappear from the bar and take a subway
March is similar to February and the sun
hardly touches the buildings and the alleys
I am back in the apartment
the room looks like the bottom of the ocean
the place is both dark and bright
fishes are swimming in it, it looks like the current
when they brush against the top of my skin
and where I come from
I think I’ve come too far
my shadow could tell you everything
it’s detached from me and floats on the surface
from a distance it looks like pieces of crushed tires
polluted by years of loneliness and fear
yet I don’t want it to fade away
I come from afar and today the sharks of the past are looking for me
I have no footing, it could be dangerous
they knew my smell and the address of your poems
fortunately the water has dissolved my silhouette
I myself cannot say where I am and where I am hiding
I come from far away and in those moments when I remember everything and give up
books and poems can do nothing for me
the great watch beats solitary in the middle of the silence
the black stars are getting ready to win the battle
and you wake up two thousand kilometers away
in a city full of sea and sky
you went to see the whales and the dolphins
to try to forget the boy and your sorrow
and in the big blue rectangle
the bullets are real and kids in soldiers’ clothes
wait for the moment when they will smoke
forever at the window of their childhood
the world goes so badly
everything is going too fast you must know
and so many people decide only so that one day
they’ll be talked about and remembered
the sharks will find me for sure
but tonight
I feel your tenderness approaching in the water
that asks me if everything is okay if I feel better
watching for my pain, my look, my eyes
your voice like something that would say
you are here I am here
everything will be fine
and sometimes God whispers to me the secret of the enigma
he tells me: « there is nothing more beautiful on this earth
than the chain between two beings and remember
the great clock and the maps of the world lie
about space and time ».
and silently and timidly
under the water light up
little yellow lanterns
fish gather against my skin
they crackle with a thousand lights and pass through me
and there are so many books and so many poems
but laughing with you and hearing you
is my warmest shelter

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