you answered me
that the boy of your dreams
is the brother you never had
when people didn’t look like you
and you felt so alone
he was the brother you never had
when your parents split up
and your father had another child
he was the brother you never had
you never met him
but you loved your conversations
and your intelligence and sensitivity
finally found an echo
in this ocean of solitude
and as an adult
you learned his language
wrote about his country
translated his favorite poets
you were saved
by the brother you never had
and you entered the world through him
and now
you look for him in your moments
of infinite loneliness
when your mother almost died
you looked for him
when you fell ill
he is the one you looked for
but the brother you never had
has grown up
and left you alone
on the other end of the phone
and you think of him night and day
you dream of a very pure place
where the two of you would be talking
and that would be enough for you
like it was enough for you
when you were abandoned
five hundred pages written
to tell him that
two young people who came to earth
to love and be loved
one of them disappearing
and the other who waits
for ever on the shore
tell me who you are Nina
and how lonely are you
you are lost in such a sad place
waiting at the end of the phone
for that brother you had
and I can’t reach you
or maybe even understand you
but you are so cold
that I can only be cold